Gay It Forward :: Help Out this Young Gay Man
I got an email from one of my readers asking me for information/help on anal intercourse for a first timer. Since I don't have all of the answers, I thought some of you might relate and be able to help this young man.
His email reads (these are excerpts):
"Hi...I'm 22 years old...I'm still in the closet for the most part...I've tried to have anal intercourse but unlike what I've read and heard, it has been extremely painful...I'm currently using a small dildo to make myself used to the experience...have gotten used to having it sit in me but feel no pleasure, rather discomfort, and an awkward pressure in my stomach which I don't like...I am completely healthy so I don't understand what the problem is...What is the deal with the discomfort? Do I just need practice? And the pressure I feel in the stomach whenever the dildo is in me, does it take getting used to it? When does the pleasure comes?...Thanks..."
What do you guys have to say? If you think you can help, please leave a comment.
Thanks for gaying it forward. ;)
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9 comments:
All I can say is that I completely sympathize, minus the dildo in my ass part. I'm curious as to what others say.
If you don't enjoy having a dick or a dildo in your ass, it may implicate that you're just top and not bottom - you may enjoy more fucking guys than being fucked ..
I used to be a bottom for a long time and I didn't really enjoy sex - but now I have realized I was top and I can tell you, I love sex! eheh
experience being top and u'll see how it goes
I think a lot of it (bottoming) has to do with the moment and how relaxed you feel. For me there are a number of important factors to successful bottoming:
-be with someone you like, care about and feel VERY comfortable with.
-be sure to be w/someone who is patient, know's what he is doing and is willing to go at your pace.
-be clean. take the time to prepare in advance and not having to worry about "accidents" helps to relax you.
-experiement w/different positions.
-throw away the porn. don't try to mimic what you've seen or read. it'snot real and those guys have had lots of practice.
-relax, if it's meant to be it will be.
And well there's no law that says you must have anal penetration if you don't like the idea. There's lots of fun to be had with just plain old fellatio. Sex is about real people doing what they like... (Of course it's also a matter of finding like-minded partners.)
Wow, some of your answers might even push me to reinvent my sexual experience. I might need to start exploring alternatives. lol Thanks for your answers...and keep them coming.
Here's a website with useful information that spans the gamut from anatomy to technique. There's actually a lot to know, and the more one knows, the better off you are, whether you decide you're a top, bottom, or versatile.
http://tperkins.com/anal/index.html
OH WOW!!!! I'm really shock at the very high level of maturity all you guys used when tackling the question. That is very much appreciated.
I have often said to friends "Listen to your body,,,it'll tell you if you like anal sex." No rule says you have to be a bottom if gay and if it hurts then don't or maybe wait. When I was younger I was not in to anal sex but then later, holy cow, what a surprise.
if you can handle the width of the dildo, and can get it in an inch or two without pain, then the problem is with the length of it... your colon might be "full," so you should buy an enema and flush it out, then try it. I feel "pressure" when my colon is full, and it goes away when I flush it out.
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